That moment comes when you reflect on the year you have had. At first, I was tempted to think of mine as just another year. I don’t know if it was Mthuli’s finance budget that had dampened my mood so badly. Or maybe it was the new job, which seemed like such a downgrade. I honestly felt like it had been another wasted year. But then I challenged myself, for the last few weeks of December, to write about all the life-altering experiences I had had. I didn’t think there would be much, to be honest; I just wanted to show God some gratitude. And I wanted to mean it. But then I started writing the list, and the more I wrote, the more I realised I had a lot to be grateful for.
“Without bragging much, the turnaround point for me was a ladies’ prayer camp I attended in June.“
Try as I may to run away from the fact, that one afternoon I spent in a prayer mountain marked me. Now that I think about it, in the moment, it all felt like a dream. But as I was writing the list, one thing I got was perspective. God has answered a prayer I prayed in January last year. After a simple prayer, I followed up with more prayer, careful planning, and intentionally seeking the opportunity for the prayer to be answered.
‘What do you mean?’, you may ask. Well, for years I had wondered if God speaks to me, if He wants to speak to me, or when He is going to speak to me. I wondered about many things: if I had a purpose, if Jesus died for me too, and if anything I did or didn’t do mattered. Then one day, during a service in church, my pastor challenged us to give Jesus a year to see His faithfulness. And if He didn’t meet us at some point, we needed Him most, we could say we tried. Close the bible, stop praying and try another way.
For someone who grew up in a Christian household, going to all-night prayers as early as possible, I reached a stage in my young adult life where I had more questions than answers. The only sure answer I knew was, that I would never know whether something works or not unless I give it a try. So this was in a matter of speaking an easy challenge.
Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next though. Within a year, my relationship with God grew to new heights. Not only because I wished it. I had to work for it. I used every opportunity I could to minister. I allowed myself to learn from others. I let God work on my heart and my mind. And I put away the self-destructive patterns I had gotten myself used to. I stopped making excuses for any behaviour that was not consistent with who I profused to be. And then I went to the prayer retreat that would change my life!
For the very first time, I had a personal encounter, that not only benefited me but so many others who were present. I had gone into that camp with so much desperation. I didn’t want to go home the same way. I made a very simple prayer and it stayed with me all week. It was also the answer to another prayer made in January: God, please help me have the Jacob experience. And God hand-delivered it, signed with a pretty bow.
I remember leaving that prayer camp and resolving to make more changes in my life so I could have more of those experiences. How silly of me that I could forget such a precious moment 5 months later. So, I wrote it down as a win for this year over a week. My wins, the lessons, and the things I had to give up to remain focused.
“I could take a simple glance at my life and think that nothing major had happened.”
A lot of the internal work went into this exercise. I had to be intentional with myself, digging out the mundane stuff of everyday life so that I could note those things down. To remember, and to be grateful. When I was almost finished I could not believe that I was the one who had done all these things in a year. I had created room for change, and built in the consistency to see it yield results for me.
I had accomplished many firsts. I also matured. In areas I never believed lacked maturity. I gained perspective on life, and that helped me make real progress. It was almost as if all God wanted was a resounding, confident, indisputable yes from me.
The greatest lesson I learned in 2023 is that when you seek Him with all your heart, He makes it so easy for your heart to stay focused on Him by taking care of everything else around you. I hope that as the year begins, you too will make the same changes for a great year ahead, no matter what happens!
“You may be thinking about the past year and the thoughts of the things you DIDN’T do are heavy on your heart.“
This is my challenge to you, to give it another try. Think about the messy parts, particularly where you felt you had no idea what was going on there- that is where your growth is.
For me I started simply by writing in my notes app: Wins, then Lessons, then Habits I quit. After doing that, I felt I got more than I lost. Some of the things may seem small or insignificant, but when you know that it didn’t come easy, give yourself the permission to celebrate it. I have created a downloadable and editable Reflections and Resolutions journal for you. I hope you try it and that it changes your LIFE!